Wednesday, May 25, 2011

I felt better off dead...

I am sorry. I am truly sorry for vanishing off the face of the earth for a few months now...has it been that long? Yes, it has! Ahhh I am so sorry. So here is the truth, the honest to God truth. I couldn't face my blog life after my birthday. Not that my birthday got to me, but the cake, eating out and lavish food celebrations just carried over the the week after my birthday...then after that...and so on. Before I knew it...BAHM!...I had gained weight back and I was simply too embarrassed to blog. I am sorry.

So what brings me back? A couple of things actually. First being that a blog I follow called Try Try Again by Melissa was a key part of my re-born again blogging. Melissa STILL emailed me while I was on hiatus to simply say hello. The first email I got from her I just deleted (sorry Melissa). I figured what the heck. She is one girl out is the huge world who happened to read my blog...so I'm letting one person I have never met down...big deal! I'll get over it. Well Melissa (bless her lil Southern heart) didn't stop with just one email. She emailed me again about 2 weeks ago and simply said "Helloooo?"...and that my friends is what partially put me back in the saddle again.

Second is the fact that I just went on a lovely mini vacation with my son Mason and my husband Mike to Monterey and Santa Cruz, CA. It was great. The hotel we stayed at even had an indoor heated pool....yep, I said an INDOOR HEATED POOL...which required me to get into a bathing suit. Now mind you I had horrible bikini line rash from frantically dry shaving in the bathroom minutes before we walked to the pool...but I was in a bathing suit. I hated my body. I felt fat. Ugly. I was hoping for an empty pool but nooooo there were other people there swimming. In addition to the pool we of course took many photos on this vacation. Now I would not trade or erase any moments caught in digital suspension for the world. My son is only this age once and I love every minute of it...but dear Lord. I'M FAT! And the camera does not lie...I wish it would but it won't! So that is why I'm here.

I gave up on Paleo eating long long ago. It was so hard for me. One spoonful of potato salad and a hot dog...get this...with a BUN...was all it took to toss my Paleo religion out the window...and eat bread! And that my friends is where the hill to the "all down hill from here" started and I shopped getting smaller. So on Monday, I joined the Weight Watchers Points Plus Program. I love WW. I used to attend many years ago and I always seem to succeed. I love structure. Balance....and I love my meeting leader ShellyMarie...who is still there! So far I have to be honest, I have been hungry.  But I'm trying. All I can do at this point is try. I have gained 5.6 pounds back and am currently at 220.0.  I just feel challenged. I feel uncomfortable. I feel like discouraged. But I'm trying. So, wish me luck. I am weighing in on Saturday because the WW office is closed on Monday...and again, I'm sorry for hiding from you for so long..and Melissa...thanks for caring!!

-Points Plus Polly

2 comments:

  1. Yay!! I'm so glad you are back! I am really good friends of Melissa and she told me to follow your blog back when you started. I was just thinking of you this weekend and remembered that I hadn't seen a post from you in a while. (btw Mel hadn't told me that she even messaged you..) Mel is awesome and will keep up with people! Anyway, I just joined WW about 6 weeks ago and I've lost about 13lbs. I am really enjoying the program. Anyway, glad to see you back. I'm actually gonna start a weight loss blog very soon!

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  2. HAHAHA - You crack me up. I am so glad you're back! And WW...what a great program. I joined it 7ish weeks ago & i love it. But... i haven't lost weight. Idk if you've read my blog, but a new discovery - my obgyn believes i'm Insulin Resistant... if that's the truth, we now know why i wasn't losing weight at all this year, despite my hard work. I go back to the dr on June 3rd.

    ANYWAY, girl! You should know that you didn't let me down!! I just LOVED your blog & thought about you from time to time. I realized you hadn't blogged in awhile so i emailed you b/c i missed these hilarious posts. And then i did it again b/c i missed you again & started to wonder what the heck was going on! LOL. But you didn't let me down. Don't be so hard on yourself. Paleo is hard stuff! You don't suck b/c you quit! WW is a great program & you can & will succeed.

    Look forward to reading more from you! :)

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