Absence makes the heart grow fonder?

So I have been in hiding. I hide when I'm tired of trying. I hide when I miss food. I hide when I am sad. So, I have been in hiding for a few months now. And boy has a lot happened in just a few months of hiding.

First off, I had a doctors appointment to just check out my aging 32 year old body and it turns out I have high cholesterol and as my doc put it "extremely low vitamin B12!"  So, I have been working on my cholesterol and taking a dissolving B12 supplement. I have a follow up at the end of this month and if my B12 is not in the normal range, I have to start B12 shots.

I was also hiding because I was missing food. I missed worry free eating. I missed cooking like I was taught. I missed using real ingredients. I missed ordering off the menu without substitutions. So I ate. I cooked. I ordered. Now I know I had to have some checks in my balance so I tried to eat smaller portions. I have been trying to snack on carrots and apples. I have been packing my lunch nearly everyday. Making my coffee at home. Cooking hearty dinners. Getting back to my roots as one might say. And I am enjoying it!  I can honestly say I am enjoying the food that I cut, cook and prepare. My son Mason (20 months old) has taken up an interest in cooking with mom too and I love it. He loves to help a make muffins and pretend cook while I am preparing dinner. It's such a joy to watch. Mason is so much fun. He is a gem of a child and I am having so much fun with him lately.

So here I am, out of hiding. I know it has been a pattern of mine to blog for a few months then disappear into hiding so please bear with me. It's just my style; annoying I know and I am sorry for that. I am happy to see that some of my blog sisters are doing so well in their blogging and weight loss efforts! Keep up the good work!

Lastly, in my absence I am happy to report that I haven't gained weight. I'm actually down a few more pounds to 207.4!  Whoever said weight loss is a journey was liar! Weight loss is an expedition with two peaks for every valley. A place where you have to kill your own food, dig for clean water and put a rock on your poo! It's hard. It's inconsistent. It's a long trek in wet shoes! Keep on keeping on!

Oh Say Can You See...

...That I'm Not Eating Right.....Ahhh I feel depressed. Okay so for starters, I am obsessed with my weight loss. I weigh myself like 4 times a day and I know that is NOT healthy. I am trying to break that dirty little habit but it is hard. Last time I ventured into weight loss, I went as far as to take the battery out of my scale but it's hard to hide a battery from yourself. The battery quickly made it's way back into the scale and I kept obsessively stepping up! So, all week I kept weighing myself and....nothing. No negative weight loss. If anything, I had gained a pound. That is where my slippery slope starts. I get discouraged because I hit a plateau (by the way thanks Jhoana for jinxing me) and I tend to fall of the wagon...BIG TIME. So I sternly decided that NO, it's not happening this time. I am staying on track. I am resisting my urge to momentarily give up. CRAVINGS won by a landslide! I gave in. I gave up. I...I...I...lost to myself? Is that even possible? In the game of weight loss...it is very possible...and the instant replay keeps running over and over in my mind.

First I figured that since I had not lost any weight according to my home scale that I could just go crazy and eat whatever I wanted...at least I would feel better emotionally. Right? Well I did. I ate. And it was good. Then, God bless America, came the 4th of July and I decided that I would eat whatever I wanted (within reason) and so I did. So Tuesday comes along and my Mother calls me for a lunch date. So I went. I left the gym clothes I so nicely packed in my car and ate an abundance of Thai food...oh and my favorite Thai dessert. Lord please tell me this is not the beginning of the end. I cannot take these temptations.

So here I am blogging about how I lost...but gained. Lost the battle; gained the weight. Only a total of a pound but still, a pound can be mental war for anyone battling weight. So tomorrow is my start fresh day. I am going back on my WW hardcore. I am stocking my fridge with WW friendly foods. I am not eating out. I am not giving into temptation. I am going to settle the score once and for all.

Mason enjoying our dry docked Kayak!

I recently received a kayak for my anniversary gift and it has arrived! I am excited to use it. I think I am taking it up to my Aunties house in the Tahoe area this weekend! I am looking forward to getting out of Chico. It has been 104 to 105 degrees here the past few days...HOT! I am going to my official WW meeting this Friday morning so I will report in after that! Hope everyone had a great 4th of July! Until Friday...




-Negative Nancy and her sister Patriotic Polly

Weight Watchers 4

Can I get a whoot whoot!....down a total of -10.4 pounds! That is with the addition of a -2.2 pounds this week! Had a great week on Weight Watchers...had a horrible week on the home front. My hubby got into a horrible car accident on Tuesday while towing our boat and trailer which landed upside down on highway 45!  Glad Mike and his passenger are okay but dang it....our truck and boat are not so okay (insert sad face gesture here). I am thankful for full coverage insurance although our boat is not considered a covered vehicle, so we might just have to take a semi-huge loss on that!  I just keep reminding myself that "the best things in life are not things!"....but gezz it was nice to have nice things while it lasted? Right?

As far as my eating is going...it's going well. I have been doing good using up all my points and eating well into my bonus points each week. I have found a new love of iced coffee (thanks Jhoana)...it's so delicious in the hot summer mornings! I have also found a new favorite summer snack, cantaloupe with lite whip cream on it...Mmmmmmmmmm! So good, so refreshing...

I have been getting support from an unlikely source in my weight loss journey; my husband. Mike has been very supportive of my WW and crazed points counting.  A few times now he has wanted to go out do dinner or out for dessert and each time he asks me if I have saved up enough points or he tells me in advance to save up for an outing. Little gesture but very nice to know that he can be supportive of my weight loss. I like it and it helps.

Yesterday I got into a bathing suit for the second time this summer and I felt great about my body. I was not trying to hurry up and get in the water for fear that someone might see my thighs, or wrap a beach towel around my body to mask my rolls. I felt good. I felt pretty and confident for a change. Yes, I said confident. Wow, I never thought that word would make it back into my vocabulary so soon in my journey...but there it is...loud and clear. I feel like shouting to the mountain tops "I love Weight Watchers..." but I will refrain for now. For now, I will take my -10.4 pounds and semi-quietly celebrate in my thinning head! 

I thought I would close with a few things I am thankful for and things I would rather live without since my week has been a week of many emotional ups and downs and testing me every step of the way....so, I am thankful for:
Full coverage insurance
Seat belts
Cantaloupe
Iced coffee
Weight Watchers
Crystal Lite Mix-In's
Big safe Ford F350 trucks
Falling gas prices in CA
Flip flops
Planning ahead
Family
Sushi dates with my mom
...and things I would rather live without...
Accidents
Fear/Stress/Worry
Foreign dog poop on my front lawn
Deductibles
Lame a/c repair men
My neighbors across the street (kitty corner, not Joey...we love Joey)

Have a fantastic week...I hope to blog again this week before my next weigh in! The WW office is closed on Monday the 4th, so I think i will try and pick up a Tuesday evening meeting! Have a great week and remember that in your life no matter the situation (good or bad) that "this too shall pass." Tough times will come and go.  Amazing times will come and go.  Enjoy today. Enjoy your family. Enjoy your toys. You never know when your now will come to pass.

- Propitious Polly

Weight Watches Week 3

This week has been a doozie! My son bestowed upon me the gift of his sickness so from Thursday evening until yesterday afternoon I was sick. I mean sick. I had horrible body aches, nausea and was soooo dehydrated that I could not even urinate (too much info I know but that is reality)! Partnered with my lack of proper personal hygiene, I was ugly. I mean ugly. I was past the point of just sick, I looked like I was on my death bed and I often felt that way too. I have never been in so much pain deep down to my bones. I mean my toes were aching. Thank God my son was able to entertain himself for ohhhh 4 days! He did great and having all his favorite shows recorded helped but I must admit that I started to feel guilty for using the television as a babysitter. But I am over it. If I have learned anything from my 17 months of parenting it is that you do what you have to do to get by at that moment. Television is what I had to do. I did it. I'm over it. So until yesterday I hadn't eaten anything so to say the least, when my appetite returned to me, I was hungry. I was starving. I needed a sub sandwich and I needed it now! So I did. And it was delicious. Paired with a large diet fountain drink and BAM...I was back to myself again. I even showered. I can actually say that I am happy to be back at work because I know I am alive! 

I weighted in at WW this morning and was down another -2.6 pounds which makes my total a whopping -8.2 pounds. I know that my sickness had a lot to do with that but I'm not being picky, I'm taking it! I just am being realistic that I may not really lose much, if any, next week. But for now, I am happy and hungry!

Father's Day this year happened to fall on my 6th wedding anniversary so it was a double celebration day! Mike and I took Mason to a local baseball park and enjoyed a double hitter of 14 innings (a little long for Mason) but the game was fun. We had great seats and who can resist stadium food, not me! I indulged on a few bites of Mason's hot dog, french fries and treated myself to a diet coke. Mmmmmm, delicious!

So I am happy to be here, to be alive, to be well!  I am supposed to go out to a 'fancy' dinner with Mike on Tuesday evening to celebrate our anniversary like adults. We will have to wait and see how my food selection goes for that!  I'll keep you posted. Oh on another note, I ran into a girlfriend (we will call her Lou to protect her identity) I have not seen in a few months at WW this morning and she has lost 20 pounds! Way to go Lou! You looked great and I am so happy for you! Keep it up!

You keep it up too my blog friends and family. Have a fantastic week!

-Nauseous No More Nancy

Weight Watchers Week 2ish...



Angels Stadium
Anaheim, CA



So this was technically my third week of eating WW style but only my second weigh in...I got all messed up with Memorial Day and the WW office being closed and me being on vacation last Monday...so it's week 2ish! I am happy to report that I am down another 3 pounds! Yep that makes a total of 5.6 pounds lost! I am really happy with that might I add!



It has been a long week plus a few days since I last blogged but I was vacation. I went to So-Cal (that is what the youngsters call it) to visit my husbands family and I must admit I had a great time. We went to Santa Monica Pier, Pink Famous Hot Dogs, Huntington Beach and we also squeezed in the time to take my son to his first Major League Baseball game at Angels Stadium.  It was so much fun and the weather was amazing!  Since I have been back to the old grind and my usual weekly routine, eating has been a bit easier. I do have to say that eating out on the road is hard work and the temptations are endless.

As for getting some physical activity, I have been challenged in that aspect of my healthy life. I have gone on a few bike rides but they are minimal (3 miles) and I don't feel 'worked' when I am done. I need to get back to my walking. But as my WW team leader says, I find every 'exer-cuse' (exercise and excuse all in one) I can to avoid my daily exercise. It's raining. I'm tired. It's hot. I'm hungry. It's windy. Blah blah blah...so I have to work on that this week for sure! No more EXER-CUSE!



Heidi doesn't do mornings!



On a more personal level, my beautiful dog Heidi Anne is turning 7 years old tomorrow. I cannot believe she has been a blessing in my life for 7 years! I love that dog! I know she is getting older and I can see it in her fur color (getting a little gray), in her demeanor (she doesn't do mornings) and in her little aging body...ahhh it breaks my heart! She is the best girlfriend I have ever had!  Happy Birthday my Heidi Anne, I love you! (okay so I know Heidi won't whip out her ipad and read this but I just couldn't help acknowledging her in my blog)

Another personal note it that my son has been really sick with a fever, vomiting and the dreaded ED (explosive diarrhea)! Lately he loves to put on his dads sunglasses in the car and he looks so cute when he does it. But in all his sickness and distress he decided to wear this sunglasses a bit wonky, like he was feeling! Love that boy! He is getting better and on the mend! 

Simply Mason







Leaving on a Jet Plane

I am already feeling challenged by the road (or should I say sky) ahead. I am heading down to my in-laws for 4 days for a graduation party and beach day and am feeling the challenge of eating healthy a burden upon my shoulders.  I am very good at counting my points and tracking but it is really hard when your faced with substantial amounts of unhealthy options and minimal healthy options. What to do? Do I go grocery shopping once I get there? Do I starve (yeah right, like that would ever happen)? Do I make poor decisions? Ahhh what to do? I am already worried about it and I haven't even left for the airport yet!

I am hopeful that there will be some WW friendly foods for me to graze upon. It is just so hard when your traveling to make good/easy decisions when it comes to eating right... Ahhh this makes me nervous. And the temptation of graduation party food....beach picnic food....boardwalk food (I'm thinking of the deep fried food group specifically)...

My Pledge to Myself:

I will try my best to politely eat to the best of my WW knowledge, skills and abilities.

I will remember my POWER FOODS.

I will snack sensibly.

I will harness the inner demon of sweetness inside me and ride this out like a good girl should!

I will step on the scale on Tuesday and not be disappointed in myself.

I will make a daily walk a priority to get some physical activity while away.

Mason vs Pudding
I think the pudding won!

I will. I can. I will.

As part of my WW journey (both past and present), I have found extreme comfort in some of my sweet but sensible snacks like Special K Chocolate Delight cereal, Jell-O cups with a dollop of cool whip and my favorite being Jell-O Pudding cups...which I had to share with my son Mason. As many of my friends have already seen this on my FB page, I share with those of you in my blog world. Sixteen month old children and unsupervised pudding do NOT mix well! I learned my lesson! Enjoy! Chat with you all next week and have a fantastic weekend!

-Nervous Nancy

Weight Watchers Week 1

So I weighted in on Saturday and I am down -2.6 pounds which brings me to 217.4!  Pretty good for the first week! I am getting the hang of the new Points Plus program and am beginning to be less hungry throughout the day. All in all, it is going well. Cooking dinners seems to be the most challenging part for me. I am controlled at breakfast with the usual bowl of cereal and at lunch with my veggies and Smart Meal but dinner is a free for all. Also cooking for the entire family puts added pressure on me, but I guess I'm doing fine because I am losing the weight!

Memorial Day was this past weekend and it was not a challenge for me. The hubby made kabobs with veggies on the grill! They were delicious. And since I had so many bonus points left over, we went out for a scoop of ice cream! It was worth every point! I also attended the annual Memorial Day Service they host at our local cemetery. It's very humbling.

To wrap up the weekend, I went swimsuit shopping! Now typically I would be dreading this but I wasn't. I felt good. I ended up bringing home three tops and two bottoms to model for my hubby and let him give me the honest ("would you be embarrassed to be seen with me") truth. My plan was to return the suits that were the worst but Mike liked all of them. So being a girl, I kept them! Who could resist, especially when your hubby says they look good on you...and I really think he was being honest!

As you may have noticed last week I updated the look of my blog, hope you like it! I also slowly added a new side column of my 'tipping the scale' weight tracking and a few tabs at the top...more to come! Hope you all have a great Tuesday!  Oh and before I forget, a shout out to my bestie....HAPPY 33rd BIRTHDAY KELLY JEAN...you will always be older than me!

-Poolside Polly

New Look and Feel

So as you can see I have changed my blog look and feel...hope you like it! By the way, when I was changing it, for some reason it erased all my followers....kind of sucks! So if you could re-follow me, that would be great! :) 

Yours Truly,
Technically Challenged Nancy

Not Right Now, Not Today

So far this week it's been...so good? Well, actually I have been hungry. But that is slowly changing. I had to work yesterday in Sacramento (which is a good 2 hour drive from Chico) and on the meeting agenda it said we had lunch "on our own."....now those are three words a newly WW attendee never wants to here...ON YOUR OWN...no way...give me structure, give me guidance...give me my meeting leader...but I did okay. I ate with a group of colleagues and of course they decided to eat at The Cheesecake Factory. Booo! But I had a salad with chicken and dressing on the side. Now mind you, my co-worker sitting right next to me had a beautiful bacon cheeseburger with fried onion rings on top...it smelled delicious I'm not going to lie. I just kept telling myself that I too can have a bacon cheeseburger but not right now, not today. It kind of works when you take the time to talk yourself down from the ledge!  I didn't jump. I stayed safely put next to my chicken salad and it was good. I was full. I was alive! 

Me and Mason
Santa Cruz, CA
May21, 2011

On the activity front, I have found an amazing app for my phone (android) called Noom...it has a GPS tracker and it tracks all my physical activity. So I have been walking with my son in tow at a local park for two nights this week, 2.5 miles each night! I also went to the GYM, yes I said GYM on my lunch break on Wednesday. I only did 30 minutes of cardio on the elliptical but I was sweating like a hog in July! It actually felt good. Now I can tell you that the exercise piece for me has not been easy. I hate being active. I hate to say that since I used to play hockey, tennis, track and volleyball all through high school...but as Dr. Phil says...LETS GET REAL...high school was ummmmm 14 years ago (holy crap I have been out of high school for 14 years)...so in 14 years I have learned to hate exercise....oh and i have also managed to gain approximately 72 pounds...funny how that works. So I will keep TRYING. I will keep on keeping on. I will remind myself that I did not get fat by accident.

-Positive Polly

I felt better off dead...

I am sorry. I am truly sorry for vanishing off the face of the earth for a few months now...has it been that long? Yes, it has! Ahhh I am so sorry. So here is the truth, the honest to God truth. I couldn't face my blog life after my birthday. Not that my birthday got to me, but the cake, eating out and lavish food celebrations just carried over the the week after my birthday...then after that...and so on. Before I knew it...BAHM!...I had gained weight back and I was simply too embarrassed to blog. I am sorry.

So what brings me back? A couple of things actually. First being that a blog I follow called Try Try Again by Melissa was a key part of my re-born again blogging. Melissa STILL emailed me while I was on hiatus to simply say hello. The first email I got from her I just deleted (sorry Melissa). I figured what the heck. She is one girl out is the huge world who happened to read my blog...so I'm letting one person I have never met down...big deal! I'll get over it. Well Melissa (bless her lil Southern heart) didn't stop with just one email. She emailed me again about 2 weeks ago and simply said "Helloooo?"...and that my friends is what partially put me back in the saddle again.

Second is the fact that I just went on a lovely mini vacation with my son Mason and my husband Mike to Monterey and Santa Cruz, CA. It was great. The hotel we stayed at even had an indoor heated pool....yep, I said an INDOOR HEATED POOL...which required me to get into a bathing suit. Now mind you I had horrible bikini line rash from frantically dry shaving in the bathroom minutes before we walked to the pool...but I was in a bathing suit. I hated my body. I felt fat. Ugly. I was hoping for an empty pool but nooooo there were other people there swimming. In addition to the pool we of course took many photos on this vacation. Now I would not trade or erase any moments caught in digital suspension for the world. My son is only this age once and I love every minute of it...but dear Lord. I'M FAT! And the camera does not lie...I wish it would but it won't! So that is why I'm here.

I gave up on Paleo eating long long ago. It was so hard for me. One spoonful of potato salad and a hot dog...get this...with a BUN...was all it took to toss my Paleo religion out the window...and eat bread! And that my friends is where the hill to the "all down hill from here" started and I shopped getting smaller. So on Monday, I joined the Weight Watchers Points Plus Program. I love WW. I used to attend many years ago and I always seem to succeed. I love structure. Balance....and I love my meeting leader ShellyMarie...who is still there! So far I have to be honest, I have been hungry.  But I'm trying. All I can do at this point is try. I have gained 5.6 pounds back and am currently at 220.0.  I just feel challenged. I feel uncomfortable. I feel like discouraged. But I'm trying. So, wish me luck. I am weighing in on Saturday because the WW office is closed on Monday...and again, I'm sorry for hiding from you for so long..and Melissa...thanks for caring!!

-Points Plus Polly